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english_for_runaways
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1978-01-02
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4KB
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76 lines
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English for Runaways:
Dieses ganz besondere Englisch ist kein Englisch im herkömmlichen Sinne, es
ist eine Mixtur aus Deutsch und Englisch, wobei jede Grammatik vollkommen
ignoriert wird. Diesen nachfolgenden "Brief" habe ich in der Abi-Zeitung des
Ev. Stift. Gymnasium Gütersloh gefunden, aber ich finde, daß man ihn der an
deren Leserschaft vorenthalten sollte! Man muß übrigens nicht über hervorra
gende Englischkenntnisse verfügen, um ihn zu verstehen: (An unklaren Stellen
übersetzte man Wort-für-Wort!!!)
Dear Markus,
"Before long time were you together with me on this school, remember you?
That was in front of many years. You and I wrote ourselves long letters in
English. Know you still? Then you moved to Bavaria and I have nothing of you
heard. Many water has flown down the Dalke [ein Fluß in Gütersloh] since tho
se days. Now I am in the 13th year-walk-step and if it claps I get my
brightness of ripeness in a pair of months.
Shall I remember you that we promised that we would write us? It does me
sorrow that you have overhead not written and I think this ungood situation
must change. I will with good example go before. Let me first bring you on
the running what I do and how it me goes.
For three years I was lucky. I have elcted the gold-right energy courses,
German and English. Know you what is the best by this thing? In the German
hours one learns sometimes what some English outpressures are in German (not
that the German teacher likes English, Englanders and England, earlier the
opposite, but that is another problem). In Englisch we often talk German so
that we with-become what the writers out of Britain and Amerika say. Up and
close brings our teacher one of his stone-old jokes and some of us must laugh
- that is so not because the joke so good is, but if you laugh you show that
you are withworking. He always calls it STILL BUT WITHWORKING (Sometimes that
is more still than withworking...). But that can many course-parttakers quite
prima perform. While the lessons they sometimes talk and read and write let
ters and paint little pictures on the many papers who we get (or if the old
one looks not, then even on the tables), and when the old man in front wants
to know what is loose, they smile and show that they are parttaking.
Most of the times gives it not so much stress and the hours are okay, but
sometimes it is very heavy, because I cannot speak so good like the five
class-comrades can who have lived in the outland. They are so good and write
so liquid and talk so swollen in English that I often not with-come can. Then
I have a trick: I ask a sow-stupid question 'What means...?' and then the old
one sees glass-clear that I am withworking. Sometimes the teacher tells me
that my outspeaking ist not good. How silly to mean that: He always says A
LITTLE LEARNING IS A DANGEROUS THING. If already a little learning is dange
rous, I would straw-stupid be to learn more. Why should I more risk? It is
better to underdive and wait until you are on-called...Un-derstand you me?
That has brought me where I am now. I think I can good and enough English
speak, and I know more four-letter-words than most teachers on our school.
My neighbour who is an English lorry driver for the air weapon here in Gütz
el[umgangsspr. für Gütersloh] always drinks beer with me at a pub in the
neighbourhood. After three beers he hits me on the shoulders and tells me in
his good Oxford English 'My friend, I always says if all of them bloody Ger
mans only can speak as half as good as you, then Europe will not have so many
understanding problems.' I mean that I must be a little bit thankful for my
goold old school, the ESG, because I learned so much things from my English
teachers here. All clear? Sit you on the trousers bottom and write back. I
wait. So long...
Yours, Klaus
P.S.: By the way, I have written this letter in my last English lesson. Do
you know why?The teacher speaks about general mistakes in English. It inte
rests me not."
Rolf Furtwängler
Und wer es immer noch nicht mitbekommen hat, Rolf Furtwängler ist einer
der ältesten Englischlehrer am ESG und erzählt in jeder Jahrgangsstufe die
gleichen Witze...
[MAB]
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